Good Baby

Mrs. William had a good baby. He never cried and his clothes were always clean. Mrs. Briggs was very surprised and said, "When my daughter was small, I gave her a lot of food, but she cried a lot and her clothes were always dirty. Why is your baby so different? How do you do him?"

"Well," answered Mrs. Williams, "My first child was a boy. I always gave him a lot of food, He got very fat, and his stomach was always full. He cried a lot and was dirty. Now, I give my new baby much less and

Jack's New Neighbor

Jack was a young sailor. He lived in England, but he was often away with his ship.
One summer, he came back from a long voyage and found new neighbors near his mother's house. They had a pretty daughter and Jack soon loved her very much.
He said to her, "My next voyage will begin in few days' time, Gloria. I love you, and I'll marry you when I come back. I'll think about you all the time, and I'll write to you and send you a present from every port."
Jack's first post was Freetown in Africa, and he sent Gloria a parrot from there. It spoke five languages.
When Jack's ship reached Australia, there was a letter from Gloria. It said, "Thank you for the parrot, Jack. It tasted much better than a chicken."

(Taken from : Intermediate Reading Comprehension, L.A. Hill)

Magic Mirror

So there are three girls: an ugly redhead, a fat brunette, and a dumb blonde.
The three girls are at a historical inn. They stop to take a tour. The onnkeeper showed them  a mirror. He said  that if you tell a lie in front of it, you disappear.
The ugly redhead goes up to the mirror and says "I think I'm pretty" and POOF! She disappears.
Then the fat brunette goes up to the mirror and says "I think I'm slim" and POOF! She was gone too.
Then the dumb blonde goes up to the mirror and says "I think" and POOF! She was gone.

New Baby

A women is sitting at home entertaining her parents who have come around to congratulate her on the birth of their first grandchild.
"So when can wee see the baby?", asks the grandmother.
"In a little while", replies the mother.
Some time passes. The grandparents are looking quite anxious at this point.
"So, when can we see the baby?", asks the grandfather.
"When the baby starts crying.", replies the mother.
The grandparents turn to look at each other, a little perplexed and ask, "Why do we have to wait until she starts crying?!"
The mother snaps back, "Because I put her down somewhere this morning and I can't remember where she is!"

Michael, The Schoolboy

Okay, students. Listen to me. I have a good story. The story is about a boy named Michael. He was ten years old. He wasn't a very good pupil. Why? Because he didn't like doing his homework. What did he like then? Oh, he liked playing in his leisure time. He liked football very much. Do you know why he didn't like doing his homework? Because he always made a lot of mistakes when he did it.

Well, one day, his mathematics teacher looked at Michael's homework and found that all his homework was correct. Wow, that's a good job! Of course students, the teacher was very pleased and surprised. So, he called Michael to his office and said to him, "Michael, you have got all your homework right this time. You're ding great. Well done, Michael. Did your father help you?"

"No, sir." Michael said, "Usually my father did it for me. But last night he was very busy. He had a meeting. So, he couldn't do my homework. Then, I had to do it by myself."

(Adapted from: Intermediate Reading Comprehension, L. G. Alexander)